When you are deciding whether or not you should partake in an event or activity, it is very common to feel conflicted by the choice. This could be because of the anxiety you’re feeling surrounding the event or activity you would potentially take part in.
It is very common to find yourself having anxiety before a social event, an event where you have to perform, or anything you do that is out of the ordinary for you. But, how do you know if you should push through this stress and anxiety? The question comes down to is the event ultimately good for you, or is the anxiety telling you that this event is just not for you?
Sometimes The Stress Can Mean Something Good
Just because you feel stressed out about something, does not mean you should avoid it at all costs. You know how sometimes you are nervous for something then you do it and you say to yourself “wow, that wasn’t so bad”? For me, after this happens I feel an extreme sense of accomplishment and pride.
This is an example of something that is good for you. You pushed yourself to a new level and did something you didn’t think you could do. You feel better about yourself afterwards and you have a better understanding of what you’re capable of.
It is important to push yourself to do things even if they stress you out. How will you know just what you’re capable of if you don’t push your limits? This is what life’s about, finding these challanges and overcoming them in order to become the best version of yourself possible.
How I decide if an event is good for me
The general rule of thumb I use is, how will I feel after I do this? I ask myself this question and really reflect on it. I think to myself, will I feel accomplished, happier, proud, more successful, etc.? If the answer to these is yes, then yes absolutely I should push through the anxiety I may be feeling and do what it is I need to do.
For example, if I am nervous about giving a speech and am debating backing out of it, I ask myself how I will feel afterwards. Maybe my speech could be really impactful on a bunch of people and, if I am prepared, I will execute it extremely well. In this case, I would feel extremely accomplished afterwards and know that I am capable of giving speeches. Therefore I would decide that this action is good for me and I should partake in giving the speech.
However, if the answer to these questions is no or very unlikely, then I need to do some more thinking. If the answer is no, then I need to ask myself why I might feel badly about the event I am about to attend or thing I am about to do.
Generally for me, it is likely that I will feel poorly about something afterwards if it does not align with who I am and my goals. For example, if I am being pressured to go to a social event that I really do not want to attend, I will likely feel tired and drained afterwards. Sure I may have had fun which is good, but if the feeling of being drained and frustration outweigh the fun, then this event was something that I probably shouldn’t have attended at the time.
Using this rule of thumb helps me to be the happiest version of myself, while still pushing my limits and achieving new heights as to what I can do.
However, the whole discussion of this topic is very individualized and personal. I can’t tell you exactly how you will feel after something that is good for you, that is for you to reflect on and determine. You may even occasionally feel drained after something that is good for you, it all just depends on who you are as a person and how far you are willing to push your limits.